Day 1 -
So day one goes far too smoothly...
We got a nice early taxi and arrived 10 whole minutes before the lovely Matthew Barwick (studio owner/engineer) arrived. So Growley (Alex) and I enjoyed the glorious and uncommon hot weather for March. We then, after Andy "I'm always late" Stafford arrived, spent a good couple of hours setting up. Initially we had problems with the Drums bleeding into the Piano because of the abusively LOUD noise of Andy "I'm hitting this snare like it shagged my sister" Stafford. We solved this by dumping the Piano and me in the back 'Dead Room'. The problem immediately solved, the drums and Bass took little/no time micing up. Thus we had Piano, Bass & Drums all ready to record 'Live'.
Thinking ahead we decided to record the hard-ass bastard songs first in the hope we could breeze through the easier ones later. Scarely we breezed through 3 songs in a matter of hours and began a fourth before time ran out. In short we ended up sounding tighter than I could ever have imagined with just a couple of run throughs, largely down to Alex and Andy's consumate skill and professional approach to the material and recording process. As such this gives me much hope for the rest of the sessions as once these are done we on easy street.
To sum up, I am a very happy man with a VERY good rhythm section. I'm sure it will all collapse into debauchery and hatred within the week but I live in hope....

"FREE LATVIA!!!!"


Day 2 -
Another day that was far too easy. I am getting worried these 2 weeks are going to be over all too quickly.
We had lots of silly fun talking in silly accents and making rude jokes and talking about all things that involve bodily fluids in some way. Oh yeah, and we recorded 4 more songs.
They were not quite as easy as yesterday but we still tore through them. We had a little stumble at the beginning of the session where we couldn't actually start the song but we solved that problem after I beat Andy "That ride cymbal is half a mili-second out" Stafford & Growley over the head. Little did they realise (nor did I) that it was probably my fault. Anywho, it went swimmingly after that. The only difference between yesterday and today is that Chris was present. Sadly he was shoved in the control room staring at us repeatedly screwing up takes.
One song in particular has totally taken off and seems to be everybody's favourite. I await to see what the general public think.
In short it's all going very well, far too well if you ask me. I'm having great fun and wish I could do this sort of thing for a living. I will be very depressed when it's all over but that won't last when I have a shiny record to publicise.

"Have you seen the beautiful rolling plains of my homeland?"


Day 3 -
Black Wednesday.
It had to happen, everything was going far to smoothly... For a start, or lack thereof, we were an hour late in to the studio. Not a good start. Then I insisted on playing like a two fingered twat for the first song and screwing up un-necessarily. Sadly I think this rubbed off on Andy "No-really!-It's out of time!" Stafford and Growley which caused the first song to take waaaaaaayyyy too long. We finally got to the last track which shot by and was perfect by take 3. Pain in the arse! Exhausted we returned to the mixing room and reviewed all songs. By and large all songs sound bitching cool, like Please Please Me but louder and faster. They are obviously 'live' but damn near as perfect as you can get for 'live'.............................................................. Except,
The first track we recorded on the first day was listened to. Matthew, rightly perhaps, pointed out we have got tighter as a band and this is probably the least 'together' track. Everyone, except me, agreed. Growley however was very tired by this point and as frustrated as me by the previous fuck up of the other song and as such just wanted to finish. I was reticent to return to my little room at the back of the studio to record song that is already finished but grudgingly (and rather grumpily) I agreed. Thus the first track was re-recorded after a couple of takes in which Andy "I'm covered in electrical tape" Stafford made 3 or 4 more blisters. Matt kept popping on the headphones saying "It sounds much more energetic!". I think this may be because I was playing piano like it had just stolen my wallet and my girlfriend after taking a shit on my doorstep. Now a track that was originally a bit of a boogie-woogie, rolling type tune has turned in to all-out-balls-to-the-wall-hell-for-leather Punk with a piano. At which point Growley & I collapsed in to the two comfiest chairs in the control room and just nodded when everyone (obviously trying to make us a little more enthusiastic) kept saying how much better it was. Annoyingly, I'm inclined to agree. Clearly Matthew is not only a good engineer but has a good ear too. I feel more and more I made the right choice in studio.
Piano sounded better today though. In short, we finished the actual 'tracks' we just have my 'solo' songs to do and then overdubs (guitars, vocals, etc. etc.) so all in all we have made very good time.
Hopefully Chris will not breeze through all the songs tomorrow in a matter of hours or I will cry.

"I think we've just recorded the soundtrack to Brokeback Mountain 2"
(I know I normally only use one quote but my other favourite from today was from Matt)
"I like the underwater Bass"


Day 4 -
Payment for yesterday.
Today was possibly the most fun so far. Largely because I didn't have to do anything as it was to be just Chris and the guitar for the day but not entirely.
The day started well when Andy "Microwave Pizza" Stafford arrived ON TIME(!) with his sister who had asked to come along to the studio (!?). We picked up Chris in Canterbury and got to the studio in good time.
Now this is where it gets a bit technical/musical geeky so apologees in advance. To begin with we had to pick an amp (of which there are many at BigSqueak). We tried the Fender Tremolux which sounded lovely but lacked... something. So Matt gets out a THD amp Class A valve amp. It instanly sounded like Death In A Blender. Brilliant. We shoved it into a huge 15' Speaker cabinet and rammed everything up. It was so loud we had to put the Mics at the back of the room all the while with me grinning like an idiot. I made Chris play his Sheraton for all the Rhythm parts (90% of the guitar parts) and suddenly with very minimal bits and pieces the songs really came to life even more. I was getting very over excited and doing the Chuck Berry Duck Walk everywhere. We then got to everybody's favourite track which I was really looking forward to, when Matt gets a little glint in his eye and says "So you want a big guitar sound, do you?". At which point he gets up, takes a little box and a smaller Fender Amp with him. Moments later Chris is coming out of not 1 but 2 Amps! Matt had split the guitar signal into the two Amps and miced them both up. You should have seen Chris' little face....
It was at this point Andy "I Love This Song" Stafford and his sister had to leave leaving just we three.
So after Death In A Blender x2 is done with we go back to the 1 amp and I thought there was nowhere left to go. Then I remember a little idea I have for the end of one song that goes double time. So we plugged in a Flanger (a guitar pedal that makes things go 'Swoosh') and fiddled. Armed with the most insane guitar sound possible, something resembling a ping-pong ball in a bowl of water, wooshing over the last minute of the song, I smiled some more.
We then moved onto the very minimal lead parts I had planned. Chris changed guitar and we cleaned up the sound a bit and we got him to play a solo riff for one song. In 1 Take it was perfect but you could almost hear the widdly-widdly constipation in his playing. He just wanted to cut loose, something I had asked him not to and, until this point, he had obediently agreed. As I was in a good mood, I took off the handcuffs and spent a merry hour listening to the most Masturbatory and Incendiary solos you ever heard. Me & Matt laughed some more.
We were just about to wrap up when I remembered I wanted a lead line in the bridge of the song we had re-recorded yesterday. After a brief chat we found the line I liked that sounded like something from Carmina Burana which turned an already schizophrenic song into out-and-out Prog. THEN Chris, with a similar grin to Matt's earlier, said "What about a harmony?" Five minutes later I have lost all bladder control with joy. Genius.
In short, I feel I have peaked too early. Next week, I imagine, will be very dull...

"Thank you Beans."


Day 5 -
Moody, moody, moody...
Today was the most languid by far and, by turns, the most face achingly funny. It began with Alex, Matt & I trying to decide the best 'solo' songs to put on the album. I was desperately trying to think of one to end the album on too. I played the ones I knew I wanted to record (one having already been recorded in a church a year previously but needed transferring from an old desk to the studio hard drive). This was done in 1, count them!, 1 take. It sounded perfect. I loved it. We then decided on a ballad I could perform solo. This one had also previously been demo'd before but I felt the demo was nice enough to leave and treat this version as new so I recorded it with the door of the live room open to the field outside. Again, perfect in 1 take. This I listened back to and decided it needed nothing but the vocals so we shelved it till the mix. We nipped out to get lunch and returned for Hammond Organ fun.
It was at this merry juncture Andy "It needs something else!" Stafford appeared. I then decided what songs would need my Huge Organ (snigger snigger) and went into the live room. Now, the thing about Hammond Organs is there is no subtlety to them. They either have an all-out-gut-churning roar or soft hum, unlike a Piano which responds to sensitivity. As such I had to pick and fiddle with these things called drawbars and tone dials which colour the sound, add percussive 'click' to the notes, add vibrato, tremelo and other tweaks. Once I had found a nice low Rumble on the bottom keyboard and a harsh Sloshing Wail on the upper I, yet again, added the minimal parts to certain songs as required.
The wonderful thing about a Hammond is the Leslie Cabinet. This is an amplifier which, driven by air, has a rotating speaker. You can change the speed of this 'on-the-fly' as it were with a switch. You will have heard this sound whether you think so or not, it is a very common sound. Many people put Guitars through it, something the Beatles did a lot. It's just something you do in a studio, like revving the engine when you pass your driving test. A Leslie Cabinet stands just over waist height, is made of a solid hard wood and weighs a ton, as such you can imagine the noise it makes. Even when you're not playing anything it swishes satisfyingly.
Anyway, after (again) I do most of the parts in 1 take (smug aren't I?) I listen back to some then decide one of the 'Solo' songs needs a bit of texture so I added a bit. This particular song swells at the end, now, remember how I said the Hammond is all-or-nothing? Well, I was at full volume using a sustained note with nothing to lift the sound. I then remembered Hammond organs have Bass pedals. I quickly snap the drawbar for the pedals to full Bass and plant my foot on the chord just as the last verse lifts. Four faces of such delight I have never seen. Remember I said how big and loud a Leslie is? If you add the Bass pedals at full whack you have a sound that probably measures on the Richter scale... And I was in the same room. Brilliant.
After that it got silly. I had an idea to use a malleted cymbal (sounds a bit like a gong) through it, subtly, not to over do it. I came into the control room and the first words out of Andy "I'll steal your thunder" Stafford's mouth were my thoughts. So he went into the live room. After much Bean related hilarity (similar to yesterday but Matt giggling like a ten year old had me floored, literally) and hysterics which genuinely made me laugh so much it hurt, we had it done. I then said "It needs another drone." So we dug out a very old Casio keyboard and found the least eighties synth we could find then shoved it into a huge Roland keyboard via a Wah-wah pedal. Again in one take this made it sound like we had hired a whole orchestra in this one song and the issue of the last track on the album resolved it self immediately.
We listened back to it (un-mixed) with the door open to the field and a hushed silence fell. It really sounded magic.
The album, which I originally thought would sound heavily of all my influences, does but only on certain instruments at certain times. It adds a slightly schizophrenic character to the whole album but in a good way. It's all Pop music but in the most diverse and traditional sense of the word. I could not be happier unless we had Dannii Minogue in the studio for real.

"This is a Headphone Song... Is that Lesser Spotted Greeb in the background?"


Day 6 -
Of all the times to get a freakin' cold!
I have lovely nose-dripper at the moment, just when it comes to doing the vocals. What a bastard. After a nice relaxing weekend it was just Matt & I for most of the day as Alex is back at work but Andy came along in the afternoon.
We started off doing interesting percussion on some songs and some Kazoo (yes, I said Kazoo) on one in order to delay the inevitable 'hold-your-nose' vocals. But after all the Tambourine the album could handle and a bit of pedantic mixing (mainly by Matt) we had no choice but to get cracking. I was very dubious about the whole affair but after one take I was a lot happier. I could probably sing better but not much so I went with it. I am by no means a singer and my songs are written as such so it was not too complicated. Andy "How about this...?" Stafford had some good advice on a lot of the performances which was handy. One song even has a different middle section (melodically) now thanks to him saying "It just doesn't work." Which wasn't as rude, or blunt, as it sounds, in fact it was very helpful. By the end of it we had done the vocals for 7 songs. No one take was perfect sadly which means there may be some creative editing later but by and large they weren't terrible.
If anything lets this album down it will probably be the singing. Its always been the trouble with me. I write all these songs which would sound so much better if someone else sang them but the lyrics are so personal it wouldn't really wash if someone else did. I can only hope Matt and his Magic Computer can polish a turd.

"Sing it to Dannii"


Day 7 -
Final day of 'recording'.
Just Chris, Matt & I today. We polished off the last of the vocals today, as I say, not perfectly but to the best of my abilities. Either way they're done. We then had our guest star in the form of the Lovely Alex Williams of Psychotic Reaction Fame drop by for some guitar madness which he managed in spades. Before I started this I knew I wanted some utterly insane guitar parts and general white noise and there was only one person I could ask. With an obscene amount of floor effects an especially visceral part for the ending of one song was knocked out in one or two takes. Then an exercise in restraint which required the use of an E-Bow, a lovely vintage Burns and it's tremelo arm for a nice long drone. A couple more tries to calm the boy down but after that, a nice round growl was achieved. We then tried a solo at the end of one song I had originally wanted my brother to play, this was a little more tricky. I didn't reign Williams in but he kept playing rhythm when I wanted lead. When he eventually got it with just the right amount of avant-garde insanity it was perfect. Lovely.
In a "swish-of-his-cloak-and-he-was-gone" type way, Williams had to shoot off to London. So we were left with Chris doing heavy metal acoustic. So we had to tell him to play softer and softer and eventually he got it. At that point (about 5 o'clock) I realised we had an hour left and with only three days after today to mix, we were running very short on time and I still wanted backing vocals. Arse.
So in an hour (flat, name anyone else who can do that) I sang three songs (and harmonys). I wanted more than that but we were really up against it so I had to just abandon those and I'll hope for the best.
In short, tomorrow till Friday will be MIXING! That most loathsome of passtimes. I hope Matt & I don't end up hating each other. I like Matt. Oh well...

"You do know WHY it's called Skat don't you?"


Day 8 -
Dear oh dear,
I arrived along with a delivery of guitars to BigSqueak and Matt and I began mixing. I say Matt and I, Matt started mixing as I looked blankly at the pretty colours as they moved across the screen. When Chris turned up he seemed fairly excited and was full of suggestions. Later still, Andy "I love a Homo-Erotic sub-text, I do" Stafford appeared and had some fairly sage advice also. Unfortunately it became a bit of a "too-many-cooks" syndrome and Andy and Chris got a tad bored. I say a tad bored. The new guitars were worn in by the end of the day.
I decided to begin with the most important and (more importantly) most complicated song on the album so we got it out of the way. Sadly, though we got it all done and sounding perfect (I say we....) it ate up time. We moved on to another fairly complicated number which also took a while but I'm glad we did as that one had a lovely, very satisfying feeling as it came together. A natty ending particularly. So, partially bolstered by the previous success, we did another that was slightly easier and less complex. This was equally satisfying upon completion. We then made a very rough start at another and managed to get the basics sounding nice (ie, the Piano, Bass & Drums) before leaving.
In all a very long, fairly dull day but ultimately a very satisfying one. You can hear it all come together which is a joy to hear as everything gels. I am also impressed at how good Alex, Andy and I sounded. Hearing us properly mixed suddenly made me appreciate how tight we were. The guitar sounds bitchin' too. Matt has a real ear for subtlety which I clearly lack, which helps because he mixes it properly then I chime in with how I want it to sound. He then makes a valid case for it actually sounding GOOD and I agree. What a great team! It's easier just to let Matt get on with it. He knows how things fit in a mix and I don't. The only time I'm really needed is on 'Mood' control, like if an important line needs bolstering or if a certain part needs clarity.
The only problem is we only finished 3 and started a fourth today which means we are going to have to race ahead to finish it all by Friday. Hopefully with less complicated songs from now on we'll hit our stride tomorrow.

"You can't Masturbate in Heaven."


Day 9 -
No such luck.
If you don't include the one we started last night we only mixed 2 songs today. A bit slow to say the least. However.... I think we may have recorded one of the greatest songs ever. The one that I previously thought would be everyone's favourite is becoming very much everyone's favourite. I originally wrote the song almost as an upbeat ballady, poppy, pseudo-protest song. It is now practically a cross between Audioslave, Led Zeppelin and Jerry Lee Lewis. Brilliant. I may think different upon hearing it back but I doubt it. I head-banged the whole way through the mixing, not common. That redeemed the day slightly as I am confident people will probably like this track.
This does however mean the "Whole-Album-In-One-Hit" plan has gone out of the window as we'll never have it finished by tomorrow seeing as I have to leave early for Another mixing seesion with another band (I'm nothing if prolific). As such I have to spend MORE money *sigh*. It will be worth it though. It's already sounding bitchin' so when I have an album I'm ecstatically proud of I'll forget about the money. Until then however....

"That was totally Dagenham Flats"


Day 10-
Is This The End?.....
Pretty much! The album is mixed and done and dusted. Just Matt & I today and without "distractions" we mixed 5 (count 'em) songs. We're going to have a review session later in the week after sleeping on it and to check we hadn't gone deaf half way through and so I can pay poor Matthew for his heartache and probably marital problems due to the exorbitant amount time spent with him and THAT accent. After that it will require mastering and then reproduction but that will be it. In short it may be out sooner than I thought. Probably toward the end of summer (maybe earlier but I'm not holding my breath), in short two (very expensive) weeks are over. It's been quite tough really and fairly draining but a hell of a lot of fun and I'd do it again in an instant.
So that's it! To the 4 people who read this avidly for the last 2 weeks I thank you and wish you well. I may make one more entry after our day next week when I have a shiny new CD in my hands but that's pretty much "All She Wrote". I'm going to leave this page up for a little while but I'll take down after the album comes out, don't want people to know our secrets do we?
So to the lovely Matt, Growley, Chris, Andy "Put everything through Nigel!" Stafford, Alex W and all the lovely Cab drivers, thank you for making a dream come true.
Signing off,
Leo Cookman - Piano, Vocals, Songwriter, Egomaniac

P.S. Guess where I'm going tomorrow? That's right. Psychotic Reaction have some recording to do at....




"Why are Elephants Big, Grey and Wrinkly? Because if they were Small, White and Smooth they'd be Asprin."
or
"Do you like my red underwear,
Covered in Snails,
From Delaware?"


-Additional-
I now have the mixed CD in my grimy claws. It is (well, for the moment...) finished! I have listened to it and am very over excited. I can only thank Matt from the bottom of my heart for really making a dream come true (and other cliches). It sounds exactly how I wanted it to sound and I finally have 'definative' versions of songs I've recorded several times and new versions of new songs. It all sounds brilliant. I highly recommend making an album to all musicians so long as you have good mates in the band, the right studio and the right engineer. All of which I had... In spades.
All that remains is mastering, the artwork and then reproduction. That should all take maybe a month or two and then on to iTunes and then... THE WORLD! MWHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
Thanks for staying tuned. And you'll know where the previews will be first ;-)